During the last part of the semester at LDSBC, I started feeling sick a lot. I figured it was my "lack of immune system" acting up. Honestly, though, if I even hear about someone being sick, I miraculously also contract the illness. It's slightly pathetic. (but I have a great personality.....) Anyways, I didn't think much of it. However, when it continued and wouldn't go away, I got a little bit of a sinking feeling...
Spencer and I had only been married for over 3 months. We for sure, defiantly, and REALLY wanted to have children, but a teensy bit in the future. Spencer was preparing for his Russian exam in order to apply for the FBI. He was also finishing up school at the U. (GO UTES!) I was attending LDSBC studying in their Interior Design program. (GO...uhhhh....LDSBC MASCOT!) At the time, we were staying at my aunt and uncle's house. They were serving a mission in New York, and kindly let me, Spencer, my sister Shari, and her husband Kenton live there while they were gone. It was a big house, and we all got along SO WELL. Good crap, that was fun! We shared food and cleaning duties, all had callings in the Primary in the ward, and hung out every night. It was seriously a dream. My aunt had just let us know that her son sold his home, and would need to move in soon. We would be homeless in two weeks. Stink.
Knowing that we would be homeless soon, that Spencer and I were both busy with school and work, and that we were totally unprepared made me feel RIDICULOUSLY uneasy about my uneasy stomach. For some reason, I KNEW I was pregnant. I kept talking myself out of it, but it kept circling back to the same thought - that we would have a baby soon. I was on birth control for heaven's sake! How could I be pregnant?! Well, thanks to some pregnancy tests, it was brought to our knowledge that we would be parents. I bawled the entire night. Not tears, but heaving, giant sobs. Spencer was way better than I was. (although he had kind of a glazed over stare and an expressionless face while he watched TV that night.) I had an enormous project to finish that night for school, so I sat at the table, cried, worried, and did my project for school.
Reading this now, I feel very selfish. I was! There are so many couples in the world who can't have children of their own - so many that have unbelievably heavy trials. I was a monster to complain! I thought of all of that too, and it made me cry harder because I felt horrible for being such a jerk. It was rough, too, because I missed out on being excited about the situation. Like, surprising Spencer with a positive test, telling my family in a fun way (instead of trying to talk to my mom through my pathetic sobbing) and just generally being happy about the prospect of being a mother.
My pregnancy was a little rough. I was really sick. (hahaha, once I told Spencer to hurry and stop the car because I had to ralph. We stopped right in front of our apartment building in Salt Lake. I threw myself out of the car and onto the ground in an incredibly dramatic fashion (that's how I roll..) I barfed up watermelon in the gutter as several people watched. ((why were so many people right outside our building?!)) It was really awesome. I hope I have that memory until I die. So great.) Anyways, so I forgot to tell you that my cousin TJ found us an apartment right downtown. That's a whole separate story, so you just need to hang on until I write about that later. Stop being such babies.
Wanna know something? I KNEW that I had a little BOY growing inside me. I just KNEW IT. It was a boy. I would’ve been confident enough to not find out the sex of the baby and still buy boy things and clothes. I knew it! When the ultrasound tech told us it was a boy, I was not surprised ONE BIT. Spencer jumped up and down. It was so cute. We were gonna have a Baby James!
The pregnancy also gave me high blood pressure. They watched me like a hawk. (they also had actual hawks watching me....like, the birds...yeah? No? Ok.) I must’ve peed in 10,000 cups. (good visual) There were some weeks when I visited the doctor four times. I HATE going to the doctors. I felt cursed. The only good thing about being pregnant was feeling James inside me. I loved that! He was a mover! Seriously, though, that was the only good thing. I’ve decided I’m not good at being pregnant. Some people suck at math or drawing..I suck at being pregnant. Whoops.
Spencer and I were married October 14th, 2008. It was nearing our first anniversary. Spencer had a bunch of fun surprises planned. He was taking me away somewhere. I was so excited!!! The day of our anniversary we had an ultrasound scheduled. I was exactly 35 weeks pregnant. We thought that was cute that we were gonna see our James on the morning of our anniversary….little did we know…………………………….TO BE CONTINUED! Hahahahahaha! Love, Sara
